DIGITAL SERVICES

TAXING RICH – POINTS TO PONDER

You’ve heard the cry in the past  “It’s just a tax cut for the rich!” and it is accepted as fact. But what does that really mean?  The following explanation may help.

Suppose that every day, 10 men go out for dinner. The bill for all 10
comes to $100.  They decided to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes, and it  went like this:

   The first four men (the poorest) paid nothing.
   The fifth paid $1.
   The sixth $3.
   The seventh $7.
   The eighth $12.
   The ninth $18.
   The tenth man (the richest) paid $59.

All 10 were quite happy with the arrangement, until one day, the owner
said: “Since you are all such good customers, I’m going to reduce the 
cost of your daily meal by $20.”

So now dinner for the 10 only cost $80. The group still wanted to
pay their bill the way we pay our taxes. The first four men were
unaffected. They would still eat for free. But how should the other
six, the paying customers, divvy up the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his “fair share”?

They realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But if they subtracted
that from everybody’s share, then the fifth and sixth men would each end up being paid to eat.

The restaurateur suggested reducing each man’s bill by roughly the
same percentage, thus:

   The fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% saving).
   The sixth paid $2 instead of $3 (33% saving).
   The seventh paid $5 instead of $7 (28% saving).
   The eighth paid $9 instead of $12 (25% saving).
   The ninth paid $14 instead of $18 (22% saving).
   The tenth paid $49 instead of $59 (16% saving).

Each of the six was better off, and the first four continued to eat for
free, but outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their
savings.

“I only got a dollar out of the $20,” declared the sixth man. He pointed to the tenth man “but he got $10!”. “That’s right,” exclaimed the fifth man.  “I only saved a dollar two. It’s unfair that he got ten times more than me!”  “That’s true!” shouted the seventh man. “Why should he get $10 back when I got only $2?  The wealthy get all the breaks! “Wait a minute,”  yelled the first four men in unison. “We didn’t get anything at all. The system exploits the poor!”. The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up.

The next night the tenth man didn’t show up for dinner. The nine sat
down and ate without him, but when they came to pay the bill, they
discovered that they didn’t have enough money between all of them for even half of it.

That, boys and girls, journalists and college professors, is how our
tax system works. The people who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up at the table anymore.

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WORLD’S LONGEST PAINTING

       (CLICK TO ENLARGE AND THEN SCROLL HORIZONTALLY)

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U & I TOGETHER

Great sayings………….

Whoever invented A,B,C,D,E,…………………………Z did a great
thing.

But he kept U and I very very far.

But I still got a place where U and I are very close….. in fact
together…….

Do you know where U and I can be together………

Scroll down..

…

….

….

….

….

….

….

It is on the keyboard….

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SCENARIO’S IN VARIOUS INDIAN CITIES

Ever observed this ..while in Mumbai ..Delhi ..and so on ..read on

————–
Scenario 1

Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along, then a fourth and they start arguing about who’s right. You are in Kolkata

Scenario 2

Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along, sees them and walks on. That’s Mumbai

Scenario 3

Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along & tries to make peace. The first two get together & beat him up. That’s Delhi

Scenario 4

Two guys are fighting. A crowd gathers to watch. A guy comes along and quietly opens a chai-stall. That’s Ahmedabad.

Scenario 5

Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes he writes a software program to stop the fight. But the fight doesn’t stop b’cos of a bug in the program. That’s Bangalore

Scenario 6

Two guys are fighting. A crowd gathers to watch. A guy comes along and quietly says that “AMMA” doesn’t like all this nonsense. Peace comes in. That’s Chennai.

Scenario 7

Two guys are fighting. Both of them take time out and call their friends on mobile. Now 50 guys are fighting. You are DEFINITELY IN HARYANA.

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STRANGE SIGNS #1

Welcome to the world of the undecipherable and bizarre.

Great speed limit sign

Good Zebras

I wonder what is the point of the next one!

Nowhere to go..

Looking for information?

Traffic lights in Paris: a heart-stopping experience

Hmm.. Now that is a strange one!

Not very clear on the message

Scary?

This switch does not conserve electricity-

Missing numbers (when you are a few numbers short in the set)

Working hard? Hardly working

INDIANS ARE TOO INTELLIGENT.

After digging to a depth of 100 metres last year,

Russian scientists found
traces of copper wire dating back 1000 years, and
came to the conclusion
that their ancestors already had a telephone
network one thousand years ago.

So, not to be outdone, in the weeks that followed,
American scientists dug
200 metres and headlines in the US papers read:
“US scientists have found traces of 2000 year old
optical fibres, and have
concluded that their ancestors already had
advanced high-tech digital
telephone 1000 years earlier than the Russians.”

One week later, the Indian newspapers reported the
following:
“After digging as deep as 500 metres, Indian
scientists have found
absolutely nothing. They have concluded that 5000
years ago, their
ancestors  were already using wireless technology .

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GOOD THOUGHTS

Before you think of saying an unkind word

  Think of someone who can’t speak

Before you complain about the taste of your food
Think of someone who has nothing to eat

Before you complain about your husband or wife
Think of someone who’s crying out to God for a companion

Today before you complain about life
Think of someone who went too early to heaven

 Before you complain about your children
Think of someone who desires children but they’re barren

Before you argue about your dirty house; someone didn’t clean or sweep
Think of the people who are living in the streets

Before whining about the distance you drive
Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet

And when you are tired and complain about your job
Think of the unemployed, the disabled and those who wished they had your job

But before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another
Remember that not one of us are without sin and we all answer to one maker

And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down
Put a smile on your face and thank God you’re alive and still around

Life is a gift
 Live it…
  Enjoy it…
   Celebrate it…
    And fulfill it.

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SOMETHINGS NOT TO DO……..

Don’t attempt to run from the past,  it is always behind you.

Don’t be afraid of opposition; Remember a kite rises against, not with the wind.

Don’t be afraid of tomorrow, for God has already been there.

Don’t be afraid to learn. Knowledge is weightless, a treasure you can always carry easily.

Don’t be angry at a friend who told your secret, for neither could you keep it to yourself.

Don’t be concerned others not appreciating you. Be concerned about your not appreciating others (Confucius).

Don’t be irreplaceable — if you can’t be replaced, you won’t be promoted.

Don’t be so Heavenly minded that you do no earthly good.

Don’t control, be in control.

Don’t count the days, make the days count. (Mohammed Ali)

Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.

Don’t ever slam a door- you may want to go back.

Don’t fear failure so much that you refuse to try new things.

The saddest summary of a life contains three descriptions: could have,might have, and should have.
(Louis E. Boone)

Don’t get good at doing something if you don’t like doing it.

Don’t get married only because of the money. You can borrow it cheaper.

Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant.

Don’t just get something out of church, put something into it.

Don’t kill the dream – execute it!

Don’t learn the tricks of the trade, learn the trade.

Don’t let anybody walk through your mind with dirty feet. (Gandhi)

Don’t let people drive you crazy when it is within walking distance.

Don’t let time take control of your destiny.Let your destiny take control of your time.
(Ulrick Ricardo Milord)

Don’t let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.
(John Wooden)

Don’t let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or for the future.

Don’t limit your challenges – challenge your limits.

Don’t listen to what I say; listen to what I mean.

Don’t love the things! you own, lest they own you.

Don’t measure your life by how many breaths you take, measure it by how many times you get your breath taken away.

Don’t pray for easy lives; pray to be stronger people.

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TRIPLE FILTER TEST – SOCRATES

In ancient Greece (469 – 399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom.

One day the great philosopher came upon an acquaintance that ran up to him excitedly and said, “Socrates, do you know what I just heard about one of your students called Plato?”

     “Wait a moment,” Socrates replied. “Before you tell
me I’d like you to pass a little test. It’s called the Triple Filter Test”.

     “Triple filter?”

     “That’s right,” Socrates continued. “Before you
talk to me about my student
let’s take a moment to filter what you’re going to say.

     The first Filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely
sure that what you are about to tell me is true?”

     “No,” the man said, “actually I just heard about it
and…”

     “All right,” said Socrates. “So you don’t really
know if it’s true or not.

     Now let’s try the second filter, the Filter of
Goodness. Is what you are
about to tell me about my student something good?”
“No, on the contrary…”
“So,” Socrates continued, “you want to tell me
something bad about him,
even though you’re not certain it’s true?”
The man shrugged, a little embarrassed.
Socrates continued. “You may still pass the test
though, because there is a
third filter – the Filter of usefulness. Is what you
want to tell me about my student going to be useful to me?”

     “No, not really…”
“Well,” concluded Socrates, “if what you want to
tell me is neither True nor Good, nor even Useful, why tell it to me
at all?” The man was defeated and ashamed.

     This is the reason Socrates was a great philosopher
and held in such high esteem.

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THE CORPORATE CULTURE

UR BRAIN STUDY

Brain Study….

I’ve seen this with the letters out of order, but  this is the first time I’ve seen it with numbers.

F1GUR471V3lY  5P34K1NG?

Good example of a Brain Study: If you can read this you  have a strong mind:

7H15 M3554G3 53RV35 7O PR0V3 H0W 0UR M1ND5 C4N  D0 4M4Z1NG 7H1NG5! 1MPR3551V3 7H1NG5! 1N 7H3 B3G1NN1NG 17 WA5 H4RD BU7 N0W, 0N  7H15 LIN3 Y0UR M1ND 1S R34D1NG 17 4U70M471C4LLY W17H0U7 3V3N 7H1NK1NG 4B0U7 17,  B3 PROUD! 0NLY C3R741N P30PL3 C4N R3AD 7H15.

PL3453 F0RW4RD 1F U  C4N R34D 7H15.

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SANTA’S LETTER TO BILL GATES.

Dear Mr. Bill Gates,

This letter is from Banta Singh from  Punjab. We have bought a computer for our home and we found problems, which I  want to bring to your notice.

   1. After connecting to  internet we planned to open e-mail account and whenever we fill the form in  Hotmail in the password column, only ****** appears, but in the rest of the  fields whatever we typed appears, but we face this problem only in password  field. We checked with hardware vendor Santa Singh and he said that there is no  problem in keyboard. Because of this we open the e-mail account with password  *****. I request you to check this as we ourselves do not know what the password  is.

   2. We are unable to enter anything after we click the  ‘shut down ‘ button.

   3. There is a button ‘start’ but there  is no “stop” button. We request you to check this.

   4. We  find there is ‘Run’ in the menu. One of my friend clicked ‘run ‘ has ran upto  Amritsar! So, we request you to change that to “sit”, so that we can click that  by sitting.

   5. One doubt is that any ‘re-scooter’ available  in system? As I find only ‘re-cycle’, but I own a scooter at my  home.

   6. There is ‘Find’ button but it is not working  properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot for tracing the key with  this ‘ find’, but unable to trace. Is it a bug??

   7. Every  night I am not sleeping as I have to protect my ‘mouse’ from CAT, So I suggest u  to provide one DOG to kill that cat.

   8. Please confirm when  u are going to give me money for winning ‘HEARTS’ (playing cards in games) and  when are u coming to my home to collect ur money.

   9. My  child learnt ‘Microsoft word’ now he wants to learn ‘Microsoft sentence’, so  when u will provide that? Best regards,

 Banta Singh

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SONIA GANDHI, L.K.ADVANI and LALOO PRASAD YADAV

Once SONIA GANDHI, L.K.Advani and Laloo Prasad Yadav were travelling in an auto  rickshaw, they met with an accident and all three of them died.. Yama Raja  was waiting for this moment at the doorstep of death.

He asks Mrs  GANDHI and Advani to go to HEAVEN.

But, for Laloo, Yama had already  decided that he should be sent to HELL. Laloo is not at all happy with this  decision.

He asks Yama as to why this discrimination is being made.  All the three of them had served the public. Similarly, all took bribes, all  misused public positions, etc.

Then why the differential  treatment?

He felt that there should be a formal test or an  objective evaluation before a decision is made; and should not be just based on  opinion or pre-conceived notions.

Yama agrees  to this and asks all the three of them to appear for an English  test.

Mrs GANDHI is asked to spell “INDIA” and she does it  correctly.

Advani is asked to spell “ENGLAND” and he too  passes.

It is Laloo’s turn and he is asked to spell  “CZECHOSLOVAKIA” .

Laloo protests that he doesn’t know  English.

He says this is not fair and that he was given a tough  question and thus forced to fail with false intent.

Yama then  agrees to conduct a written test in Hindi (to give another chance assuming that  Laloo should at least feel that Hindi would provide an equal platform for all  three).

Mrs GANDHI is asked to write “KUTTA BOLA BHOW BHOW”. She  writes it easily and passes.

Advani is asked to write “BILLY BOLI  MYAUN MYAUN”. He too passes.

Laloo is asked to write “BANDAR BOLA  GURRRRRR…. .

” Tough one. He fails  again.

Laloo is extremely  unhappy.

Having been a student of history (which the other two  weren’t), he now requested for all the 3 to be subjected to a test in  history.

Yama says OK but this would be the last chance and that he  would not take any more tests.

Mrs GANDHI is asked: “When did India  get Independence ?”. She replied “1947” and passed.

Advani is asked  “How many people died during the independence struggle?”. He gets  nervous. Yama asked him to choose from 3 options: 100,000 or 200,000 or  300,000.

Advani catches it and says 200,000 and passes. It’s  Laloo’s turn  now.

‘

‘

‘

‘

‘

‘

Yama  asks him to give the Name and Address of each of the 200,000 who died in the  struggle.

Laloo accepts defeat and agrees to go to HELL.

Moral  of the story:

IF YOUR MANAGEMENT HAS DECIDED TO SCREW YOU, THERE IS NO  ESCAPE….. … 🙂

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NEVER BEAT ANYBODY!!

There was a couple married for quite some time and they had  a boy of 5-6 years old. The relationship between the couple was turning sour. So finally it reached such a stage that they thought it was better for them  to be divorced than carry on such a relationship. So they consulted a  lawyer. But the big question was who would have the kid. In the hearing in the  court. It was decided that this choice should be left on the kid. So the judge  asked “Son, would you like to stay with your mummy?”

Kid said,”No, mummy  beats me” ( So the judge asked “Then, would you like to stay with your papa then  ?” Kid said, “No, papa beats me” ( Now the judge was in a dilemma and was not  able to decide what to do… after pondering for some time he smiled with the  ideas he had in his mind about the child……

And he gave the judgment  that the kid would stay with……

any guesses??

 

come on I know you can make it……

 

ok here goes the answer

 

The  kid would stay with the Indian Cricket Team because they

 

NEVER BEAT ANYBODY!

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A CHINESE IS SPEAKING TO CHINESE OPERATOR

Caller : Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan ?

Operator : Yes, you can speak to me.

Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan!

Operator: You are talking to someone! Who is this?

Caller: I’m Sum Wan .And I need to talk to Annie Wan! It’s urgent.

Operator: I know u are someone and u want to talk to anyone! But what’s this urgent matter about?

Caller: Well just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother,Noe Wan was involved in an accident. Noe Wan got injured and now Noe Wan is being sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan is on his way to the hospital.

Operator: Look if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital from the accident that isn’t an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don’t have time for this!

Caller: You are so rude! Who are you?

Operator: I’m Saw Lee.

Caller: Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!!

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JOKE !!!,WORTH LAUGHING

A Doctor from U.K. says:
“In U.K. the medicine is so advanced that we cut off a man’s hand; we put them into another man, and in 6 weeks he is looking for work.

The German doctor comments:
“That’s nothing, in Germany we take part of the brain out of a person; we put it into another person’s head, and in 4 weeks he is looking for work.”

A Russian doctor says:
“That’s nothing either. In Russia we take out half of the heart from a person; we put it into another person’s chest, and in 2 weeks he is looking for work.

The U.S. doctor answers immediately:
“That’s nothing my colleagues. You are way behind us…. … In the USA about three years ago we grabbed a person from Kenya with no brains, no heart, and no balls….we made him President of the United States , and now……. the whole country is looking for work!

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THAT’S HOW MATHS IS DONE.

A little boy was doing his maths homework.

He said to himself,
“Two plus five, the son of bitch is seven.

Three plus six, the son of bitch is nine…”

His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, “What are you doing?”

The little boy answered, “I’m doing my maths homework, Mom.”

“And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?” the mother asked.

“Yes,” he answered.

Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, “What are you teaching my son in maths?”

The teacher replied, “Right now, we are learning addition.”

The mother asked, “And are you teaching them to say two plus two, the son of bitch is four?”

After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, “What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four.

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ALWAYS ALLOW THE BOSS TO SPEAK FIRST

A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss
are on their way to a meeting.
On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp. They rub the lamp and a ghost appears.

The ghost says,
“Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are three,
I will allow one wish each”

So the eager senior manager shouted,
“I want the first wish. I want to be in the Bahamas, on a fast boat and have no worries.”
Pufffff. and he was gone.

Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted “I want to be In Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails.” Pufffff. and he was also gone.

The boss calmly said,
“I want these two idiots back in the office after lunch at 12.35pm.”

MORAL OF THE STORY IS:

“ALWAYS ALLOW THE BOSS TO SPEAK FIRST”

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44 DESI TRAITS

44 Ways to Know whether U R an Indian or Not – Facts Pretty amusing…but mostly true and interesting. Guess at least some of them are common globally also though...

Read this it’s really cool, don’t be surprised if you can picture some friends and relations when you read these.

YOU ARE INDIAN IF…

1. Everything you eat is savored in garlic, onion and tomatoes.

2. You try and reuse gift wrappers, gift boxes, and of course aluminum foil.

3. You try to eject food particles from between your teeth by pressing your tongue against them and making a peculiar noise like, tshick, tshick, tschick, tschick.

4. You are standing next to the two largest size suitcases at the Airport.

5. You arrive one or two hours late to a party – and think it’s normal.

6. You peel the stamps off letters that the Postal Service missed to mark up.

7. You recycle Wedding Gifts.

8. You name your children in rhythms (example, Honey Money, Madhu, Wadhu, Sita &Gita, Ram & Shyam.

9. All your children have pet names, which sound nowhere close to their real names.

10. You take Indian snacks anywhere it says “No Food Allowed”

11. You talk for an hour at the front door when leaving someone’s house.

12. You load up the family car with as many people as possible.

13. You use plastic to cover anything new in your house whether it’s the remote control, VCR, carpet or new couch.

14. Your parents tell you to not care what your friends think but they won’t let you do certain things because of what the other “Uncles And Aunties” will think.

15. You buy and display crockery, which is for special occasions, which never happen.

16. You have a vinyl tablecloth on your kitchen table.

17. You use grocery bags to hold garbage.

18. You keep leftover food in your fridge in as many numbers of bowls as possible.

19. Your kitchen shelf is full of jam jars, varieties of bowls and plastic utensils (got free with some household items).

20. You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel (and travel means any car ride longer than 15 minutes).

21. You own a rice cooker or a pressure cooker.

22. You fight over who pays the dinner bill.

23. You majored in engineering, medicine or law and now……..are after Software and only Software no matter which field you belong to.

24. You live with your parents and you are 40 years old. (And they prefer it that way).

25. You don’t use measuring cups when cooking.

26. You feel like you’ve gotten a good deal if you didn’t pay tax.

27. You never learnt how to stand in a queue.

28. You can only travel if there are 5 persons at least to see you off or receive you whether you are traveling by bus, train or plane.

29. If she is NOT your daughter, you always take interest in knowing whose daughter has run with whose son and feel proud to spread it at the velocity of more than the speed of light.

30. You only make long distance calls after 11 p.m.

31. If you don’t live at home, when your parents call, they ask if you’ve eaten, even if it’s midnight.

32. You call an older person you never met before “uncle.”

33. When your parents meet strangers and talk for a few minutes, you discover you’re talking to a distant cousin.

34. Your parents don’t realise phone connections to foreign countries have improved in the last two decades, and still scream at the top of their lungs when making foreign calls.

35. You have bed sheets on your sofas so as to keep them away from getting dirty.

36. When dining out, you think Rs 10 is enough of a tip.

37. It’s embarrassing if your wedding has less than 600 people.

38. You list your daughter as “fair and slim” in the matrimonial no matter what she looks like.

39. You treat the NRI persons (especially from America) as if they are the only persons living in this world (including YOU).

40. You’ve seen the ground while inside the lavatory of a train.

41. All your Tupperware is stained with food color.

42. You have drinking glasses made of steel.

43. You have mastered the art of bargaining in shopping.

44. You have really enjoyed reading this blog.

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